Happy Belated Mothers Day Mom :)

Mom thank you so much for everything. There is absolutely no way I could've survived these past 2 months without you! Or the past 20 years for that matter lol. You are one of my very best friends and someone I know I can always turn to no matter what. You've always been one of my biggest supporters and #1 fan in everything I do. Thank you hardly seems sufficient for everything you've done and continue to do for me, but thank you so much. I would've been a mess (more so then I already was) the past couple days without you. I love you mom! Happy Mothers Day.

Crazy-ness!

Wow. This week has been so so busy. The past 2 days alone I have used an ENTIRE tank of gas. No I am far from kidding :P And it isn't even an exaggeration. Also, goodbyes suck... thank heavens that starting tomorrow I have an entire week to spend with my girlies in California! I could definitely use a little road trip therapy right about now :D It is going to be a blast! Now if only my suitcase would pack itself...

I am 20!

woot woot its true... im getting... OLD gasp! Except not really, I feel just as young as ever :) My birthday this year was pretty awesome. I got to go to lunch and shopping with my mom and Kris, and then since my Dad and brothers were at scout camp, I went with Ki up to his old mission companion Chase's cabin for a double birthday party over Friday and Saturday (since it was Chase's birthday too) We all went four wheeling, played games, tried to sleep amidst Chase's dads chainsaw snoring, and then the next morning we went shooting! I am getting better at this shooting guns thing :P Maybe one day I'll hit the bottles that I am aiming at :D I wish I had been on the ball and gotten pics from the weekend but... I was majorly slacking and didn't even get one!

opening presents with mom and kris :)
Ki leaves for summer sales on Friday :( so now I have mr. snuggles

Then last night the whole fam, went to China Lily to celebrate mine and Andrew's birthdays :) It was a lovely birthday. Thanks to everyone for the facebook messages, texts, phone calls etc. Wishing me happy birthday! I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for! :)

St. George/ Zions :)

So I am finally updating about my family's spring break :) i've been dragging my feet on this whole blogging thing lately... not quite sure why lol. But I figured that the least i could do is upload some of the pics.

Because of my finals I couldn't drive down with my family on Thursday, so Ki was kind enough to be my sidekick for the weekend so I wouldn't kill myself driving down on Friday night. (I am pretty sure I would've been just fine, but it was a good excuse to request his company on the trip and it put my parents minds at ease lol) We drove down to Cedar City, and stayed the night with his family, and then met my family in Zions for some hiking on Saturday. It was pretty much the most perfect day for hiking ever! not too hot, just pleasant and sunny. I absolutely loved it.

the great outdoors :)
takin a break... well.. actually more like waiting for the parentals to catch up ;)
hiking with my family is more fun then just hiking. if you find a 20 foot arch you dont just look at it, you find a way to climb up it. Do you see what i've had to grow up with? Being the one thats afraid of heights has its down sides in these certain situations, but i almost NEVER let my little brothers and sisters show me up. i just suck it up and do whatever they are doing lol.
the fam on top of the arch.
the kids
canyoneering :)
on the way back down

Then after a long day of hiking, we head back to the hotel to do some "relaxing" in the hot tub and pool. But someone had the bright idea to have chicken wars in the pool :P which were a blast... when I wasn't busy practically drowning, but they were pretty much the opposite of relaxing :D Lets face it unless you were on Ki's team you were doomed to lose. And with competitive little andrew on my shoulders It was all I could do to keep my head above water :P Even when we would both go down in the water he refused to get off my shoulders until I struggled to stand and push him back up with my neck... I pretty much couldn't move my head the next day haha... poor little neck. But it was a blast just the same.

the beginning with a smile still on my face
towards the end... barely staying afloat :P

After spending time with my family we headed back to Cedar City to spend Sunday with Ki's family and cheer on the Jazz. The whole trip was a lot of fun, and I dont regret not studying the whole weekend... not even a little bit.

*Note to Self*

Never. never. NEVER again, save the hardest and most important final for last.

And to those of you who read my blog, I'll update about St. George soon :) Just as soon as I find the motivation to force myself to study for this last final! Its almost over! wahoo!

I'm sick of studying... so i'll blog!

Hello! So classes are officially over for 4 months woo hoo!!! The only thing still between me and my freedom is finals. Which will be over before I know it. And as this semester comes to a close. I find myself saying things to myself such as, "next semester I really ought to put more effort into that class" or "next semester i wont procrastinate studying for tests" or "next semester I will go to class EVERY day" yada yada yada. well I guess I can hope that one of these coming semesters in my education that I will do just as well as I intend to and be the "on top of it A" student that is hiding somewhere deep down inside of me.

As for my life next semester, I will be going to England! it is finally confirmed now that cougarette tryouts have passed and I have once again found myself lingering in the tryouts until the last round and then getting cut... sigh.. haha. But I did my best so I feel good about the outcome :) It was an insanely competitive audition this year. Probably the toughest yet. 77 girls fighting for the 3 open spots on the team! It was really a fun audition though :) congrats to my long-time friend Caitlyn Southwick who I danced with from the time we were little 6th graders - t0 12th grade for making the team! She is a beautiful dancer with flawless technique and I am SO excited that she made the team :) As for me... maybe next year? ;) haha or maybe i'll just take the past 3 years of auditions as a sign that maybe Cougarettes isn't for me lol. But what the heck.. no hurt comes from giving it a try anyways!

me and Caitlin on the Carousel in Central Park in 2006 after competing in NYCDA nationals

the one thing I did realize after Cougarette auditions however was.... just how MUCH I really am out of shape! I couldn't even walk the day after tryouts lol. And I think my knees were even more bruised then they were last year after auditions :) So, since I now fully realize how out of shape I've let myself get, I have recruited Ki as my personal trainer to get me back in shape. He took me to the gym on Monday and said he would "take it easy" on me since i was still sore from cougarette tryouts (yeah right, I can't believe i fell for that one) haha cause if I couldn't walk Sunday I REALLY couldn't walk yesterday! But sore is good :) even if it does make me whine a bit.
Monday after we worked out, we got to go to the Jazz game! It was a lot of fun :) I still think that I must be a good luck charm for the Jazz, because every time I go they end up winning. The only downside to the game were the guys sitting on my right. While they were pretty entertaining in a lot of the things they said throughout the game, they were a bit tipsy and each had a few too many beers to drink. In fact the guy sitting immediately to my right became so tipsy that he dropped his beer on the ground right next to my feet! It was so gross, and it got all over my shoes. So you can imagine my relief when he stood up to leave the arena for what i hoped would be a search for some paper towels to mop up the foul smelling liquid that was all over the ground in front of me. But it turns out that while I had hoped he was going to track down a mop, he really had just gone to buy yet ANOTHER beer. As if spilling beer all over my shoes wasn't enough as he went to sit down with his newly purchased beer he sloshed a good portion of his new beer all over my lap! Lol I just looked to my left at Ki and made my "wo is me frowny face" to which Ki and all the people to his left responded by just laughing and laughing (I suppose I probably would've found the situation highly amusing too if it wasn't ME getting spilled on all over the place haha)
Even though we had such good company in our regular seats (mild sarcasm) Kiley and I tried to move to what we thought were empty seats down in the lower bowl during half time. Haha turns out they weren't empty though so we ended up playing musical chairs like 7 times before the Usher spotted us and kicked us back up to our regular seats next to the.. not so graceful, loud drunks we had been sitting next to during the first half of the game... aw well. it was worth a try :D

Me and Ki in our matching Jazz Fan attire

Then we went on a walk to temple square to avoid getting stuck in the post jazz game traffic. Our photographer for this picture was awesome haha. He laid on the ground just to be able to get this shot. It was pretty awesome.

It was a beautiful spring night.... no signs of any snowstorms in sight. I can't wait to escape to St. George this weekend with my family for their Spring Break! (yes yes, I know... I am going on vacation in the middle of finals haha. sounds like me yes?) But the warm weather will be glorious! I cant wait to escape the snow!

so...

I hadn't had any vaccinations up until today since i was 4 yrs old! So when I had to go get my physical (leave it to me to find out at the VERY last minute that they are requiring physicals in order to audition for cougarettes this year...) today, that meant I had to get 4 shots AND my blood drawn! Not to mention i have to go back next week to get more. Yuck. lol I was proud i didn't cry.... and then Ki pointed out that it probably would've been pretty sad if a 19 yr old cried because they had to get shots :D nah. they weren't too bad. but my arms are kinda sore haha hopefully they are functional tomorrow.

Also, I am EXHAUSTED I dont sleep enough these days. But most of all I am so so nervous for tomorrow! Which is stupid... because really it doesn't matter whether or not I make cougarettes or not. cause if i dont make it, then i dont have to choose between dancing and study abroad. But on the other hand... its kinda been a life-long dream to be on that team/ I kinda just want to finally succeed after trying out so many times lol. I hate failing. who doesn't!? But i realize its necessary, and not everyone can make the team, and maybe its just not something i am supposed to do yada yada yada. Sorry if this post doesn't make any sense, mostly i am trying to make sense of my thoughts. But earlier when I was freaking out about tryouts (remember how my confidence is pretty much shattered after last year?..) well anyways I opened my bible and this is the scripture I came across :) St John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." Wow. call me crazy, and emotional, and roll your eyes at my cheesiness all you want.. but after reading that i KNEW that it was exactly what I needed to read at that moment! A tender mercy, and I seriously just burst out crying because it is amazing that moments like that happen just when you need them the most. So now even though just thinking about auditioning again tomorrow makes me want to puke, I feel a certain level of peace. That no matter what happens its going to be OK. I tend to over analyze, over think, and over stress about things that aren't important in life. But I am determined that no matter what the outcome of tomorrows audition that I will be happy with myself and how i did. NO MATTER WHAT I will not beat myself up and tear away at my self-esteem like I did last year. Because even though I used to think dance defined me and who I was, now I realize that although dancing is something I love, its not what makes me important as a person. Its not WHO i am, but something I do. I think for most of high school being on Sr. Company at the studio, and on the high school dance team was a lot of what I thought was ME. That was why I mattered, because I mattered to the team, because I was good at what I did. I am glad that I danced as much as I did all growing up. Dance has ALWAYS been my passion in life, and been one of the things that has always brought me the most joy. But I am glad that I can finally see that just because I didn't make the team last year, or the year before doesn't mean I am not important. That there is more to me then just being good at dance and being on a competing team and excelling in that part of my life.

SO.. with that said. Even though I am nervous, I am going to try and look at tomorrow not as an audition, but as an opportunity to take an AMAZING class from amazing teachers. To have fun doing what I love to do. Not a dreaded audition in front of judges who are picking apart all of my flaws and comparing me to the rest of the dancers that go to the audition. Because I finally realize that nobody's opinion of me matters as much as my opinion of me, and my heavenly fathers opinion of me, and the opinions of the people I love. Welp. Now that I am done being all serious and such I really ought to get to bed :P tomorrow is a big day thats going to start early!

oh yeah! hello!!!! April Fools Day :)

So I forgot all about april fools. And wow. Well lets just say, Holly and Chels got me GOOD this year! First of all, I got home late/early in the morning on April Fools and when I went to start brushing my teeth all of a sudden I started gagging :P lol they had put salt all over and inside my toothbrush bristles! It was so gross. Salt and toothpaste aren't a good combination together! Then I went to get inside my bed after I finally got my teeth brushed and my mouth unsalted and my sheets were put the wrong way! so that my sheets were tucked in at the top of the bed, then my blankets were under the sheet, tucked in at the bottom of the bed. Now normally this wouldn't be too hard to fix but since Chels was asleep and I couldn't really turn on the light to see what was going on I was quite confused and it took me forever to figure out what was wrong with my bed.
THEN since my first class that day had been canceled I was still asleep when Chels and Holly left for school. So when I woke up at 11:30 instead of 10:30 like i had wanted to i was really confused! Cause I could've sworn I had set my alarm for the right time! But nope. Chels and Holly had changed all the clocks in the house to be an hour ahead! They even managed to change my cell phone clock while i was asleep facing towards them! (luckily for them I am a deep sleeper) For atleast 3 hrs I was all sorts of confused, going to classes at the wrong times, wondering how in the world I woke up so late, and then finally it clicked when I went over to Ki's house to use his printer (since ours was out of ink) and his clock said 1:30 when i thought it was 2:30. lol good one guys! i'll have to get you back next year. you better watch your backs! Anyways that was Aprils Fools day in a nutshell. The day I missed 2 classes, because of the mass confusion they caused me. (haha as if i dont miss class enough as it is!)

so much going on and so little time to blog about it....

but this post is my attempt to inform my curious readers of my life lately. Last week, or was it two weeks ago.... hm. well either way awhile back I had my very first experience ever shooting a gun! Ki and Luke got new guns so we all went to a shooting range to shoot them. It was fun :) surprisingly... haha I haven't ever been a huge fan for guns because the loud explosive noise scares me every time lol. I blame my dad for passing me his super jumpy genes. I only shot the gun 3 times, but I hit my target paper every single time! I was quite proud. So i took a pic to prove to my future posterity that I really did hit the target :)
Then my cousin Lisa came to town, so all the girl cousins got together for a girls night out! It was a blast. So fun to be all together again! It isn't very often that all 5 of us are able to be together all at once since Amy and Lisa have lived in far away states/countries for our entire lives haha. The night of course started out with dinner, because we were all starving! Well I was at least, but I find that I eat more then the average human being... ask anyone i've ever lived with haha. It was delicious. then we tried to go hot tubbing again. It wasn't very successful because we had only been in the hot tub for a couple minutes after taking a good 10 to climb the fence, when we got kicked out :( so... we improvised. And tried to cram ourselves all into my bathtub lol. It made for a lot of good laughs. Then we just watched a movie... kinda lol. More like I watched the movie by myself after everyone else fell asleep. Then they all came to church with me the next day :) they were a big hit! haha and many of the boys in my ward were disappointed to find out that half of them were still in highschool. But probably the most monumental thing that occured that Sunday was..... I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting! For the first time since I was like 13 or something. I hate public speaking, but if there is one thing i hate more then public speaking, it speaking AND crying in public haha. But I just felt like I should so I did. It was probably long past due since I dont have anymore girls camp testimony meetings to take advantage of.

The fabulous 5 (aka: the 5 oldest grandchildren, best friends for life)
Left to Right: Lisa, Amy, me, Kris, and Lauren

kris, lisa, and lauren at pizza factory. so many good inside jokes were formed! :D

me and amy at pizza factory :)

our make shift hot tub

haha another awesome self timer pic. lol you can see all the way to the back of their throats they were laughing so hard :P

I am trying to think If i forgot to mention anything else blog worthy that I did... just lots of school, and lots of playing :) Hopefully I make it through this next week. I am really nervous for my anatomy lab final and for my last, longest speech for public speaking. But what I am nervous for most of all, is that on saturday I will be trying out for cougarettes... AGAIN. yes again. Maybe 3rd time is a charm, and if not well whatev cause I'll just go on my study abroad :) I decided to try out again this year really last minute. really really last minute. Like i'm not even in good enough shape to be trying out, but we'll see how it goes! It seems I'm just not quite ready to give up trying yet.

Spring Break!

ok ok... i admit it. I've been holding out on all ya'll. I have a confession to make. The past month I have been dating this pretty cool guy named Ki (well technically Kiley Martin Jensen but I call him Ki). Why have I been hesitant to share this piece of information with you all? Well because I know that most, if not ALL of the readers of my blog are quite attached to Wes. My family, his family, all our friends... but I promise you'd all like Ki too. And just so everyone isn't all worried that I'm leading boys on or anything. Wes knows about Ki, and has no choice but to accept the fact that I am dating other people (since he told me to/we both knew I would eventually) and Ki knows about Wes. But anyways I just had to spill the beans because, this is after all my only form of a journal, and I am thinking by the end of this blog post it was going to be pretty obvious anyways. But now that my confession is out in the air and all the technicalities are taken care of I can now move on to the actual blog post :)

Last week when Ki called me inviting me along on a spontaneous camping trip, I didn't have to think about it very long before I consented to go. Even though now I am quite behind in most my classes, my self proclaimed spring break trip was AMAZING. We (and by we i mean... Me, Ki, Ki's roommate Luke, and Luke's fiance Sarah) all left Tuesday night for Yuba lake where we were planning on camping. However when we finally made it to Yuba Lake at 9:50 the gate to the campground was locked even though it was supposed to be open until 10:00 (slacker ranger) so we drove around for at least a good hour trying to figure a way to get to the campground without actually going through the gate. Thanks to Luke's offroading capable subaru and his navigation thing, and after driving past many large herds of cows we finally made our way to one of the campsites on the other side of the lake that was closed. It was great! we were out there all alone, just us and the lake (and the tent and our plethora of food of course). It was good to get away, I had forgotten how fun camping can be! And now for the pics... (of course!)

The campsite

just sitting around the campfire waiting for the best hotdogs i've ever eaten in my life to be done :)
Sarah and Luke

Then on Wednesday morning when we woke up we went on a little hike to supposedly see painted rocks. We were hoping there was hieroglyphics but apparently it was just a metaphor of some sort. But it turned out all right, we just hiked up a mountain like indians instead. We all agreed (except for Ki) that being an indian would be way cooler then being a cowboy. After the hike we then drove to Meadow to swim in the hot springs. The deepest part of the hot springs went down 28 feet and opened up into like an underground cavern. Their was a 50 yr old man that swam all the way down to the bottom to show us how it was done and then we all gave it a million shots. In the end Ki was the only other person besides the 50 yr old man that could swim to the bottom and pick up a rock. The rest of us only made it about maybe 18 ft. Even though me and Luke are both lifeguards there is just something really freaky about swimming through an enclosed space, with volcanic rock on either side of you. It was painful! we all got some pretty good cuts from accidently kicking or hitting the rock with our arms and legs as we tried to swim down. not to mention if you dont release the preasure from your ears several times on the way down it KILLS your ears :P

Luke being a "ninja gangsta" at the top of our little hike at painted rocks

Me and Ki trying to keep our eyes open long enough to take a picture haha

In Ki's words, I had it easy on the hike haha.

The hot spring. the water was so so clear!

Me after my hundreth attempt to successfully swim to the bottom

Sarah, Luke, Ki, and Me after swimming in the hot spring forever and turning into prunes.

then we took a walk on the beach to look for fire wood :)

Luke and Sarah are cute together :)

luke's firewood

breaking the firewood so we can have a "man fire" not a fashion fire according to Luke and Ki.

the sunset was beautiful :) But unfortunately all good things must come to an end. I had class on Thursday so we had to leave Thursday morning. and that is the end of my self proclaimed spring break haha.